/genuine Finnish cheese with a sampling of creepy

Life has lacked some direction over the last couple of years and I've fallen into a bit of a rut recently, but having what I do now has given me a sense of purpose once again. He honestly feels like one of the best things to have happened to me recently and I'm profoundly grateful for every single minute we spend together. I'll be realistic and say that things probably won't last forever, but I'll always be grateful knowing he changed me for the better. Regardless, I look forward to many more moons of lazily basking in each other's company, completing each other's sentences, being told to shut up because that was what they were going to say, being on the same wavelength in ninety percent of circumstances and behaving as a single entity as far as decisions are involved. My other-half. My lifeblood. My personage-that-binds-me-to-the-plane-of-the-living or something.

Our anniversary itself couldn't have been any better, and it has nothing to do with the fact that it fell on my stepdad's birthday therefore doubling as an acceptable alibi for not attending his birthday. None at all.

Nah, it was genuinely lovely. We've gone a long way since randomly meeting on the train (oh man, that sounds pretty seedy).

Sorry for being so quiet as of late... I've not really felt like posting much, and I barely use this thing anymore. Mainly because I don't consider two years of straight work (that I've been doing) very interesting, let alone worthy of content to write about. With hope, this should change next year. I've been around, as always, I've been logging onto LJ/Facebook/Twatter and checking up on you as I usually do. Meanwhile, I've also bolted myself down into a deep solitude with Dragon Age, which I've been enjoying a lot recently. It feels like I've landed in some sort of time warp back to primary school, and have returned into basement-dweller hiding. Everquest was the prime thing which kept me sane back then, and the same applies today. I mean, I still go out, but being a hermit is equally enjoyable. Games help to forget the big, bad world, and a lot of the time - a few of the people inhabiting it. I've discovered recently how much I rely on them for that similar escape I had around ten. It's kind of sad, but it's one of the few therapies which work for me.

To all of those who received their ENTER: Good luck. As my good friend logicalhazard says: "Some will walk away happy, but most will walk away disappointed and depressed". I'm sure most of you will be content or at least at peace with your score, but if not, just remember that it's essentially a competition to memorize as much as you can in a single year.

Take a picture of yourself right now. Don't change your clothes, don't fix your hair... just take a picture. Post that picture with NO editing. Post these instructions with your picture.



Myself and the coveted Snuggie I got for my birthday. I wore this thing all day while doing chores. Not gutsy enough yet to wear it anywhere else besides in the car, though. A funeral is on my daring list of options.

Blasting Jackie by Lisa Stansfield in the car down Chappz St (which had somehow mysteriously appeared on his iPod) and all the way home.

I think things will be okay, for now.

To quote augustuscaesar: "These entries aren't no-comments out of emo, but rather out of I Will Feel Bad If I Don't Reply to Comments."

So my job that pays $21 an hour and requires answering 0-2 calls per day lasts for an extra week. Awesome.

grungy_hamster 's gathering was fun. Was good catching up with everybody. A++, would sing about six dirty dicks/trip over and scrape my palms/become emasculated by alcohol again.

This morning I found out my car had been broken into - again. The contents of my glovebox had been empied all over the seat and the thing was generally a mess inside. Nothing had been taken, except a shopping bag containing three year-old, atrociously damaged boots (spares), which, after walking two metres, the thief been flung all over the nature strip and sidewalk (out of frustration upon actually looking inside the bag, I assume). 
I fucking lol'd.

I think I fail at having anything worth stealing. XD




P.S. I've recently made a new friend. Feels like close-friend material (we just seem to get along superbly without effort), and we hung out properly last night for the first time, which was pretty fun.  I haven't had a new one of those in a while. No idea why I'm documenting everything lately.

Just a quick note to say that unfortunately, yes; I'm still alive and reading everyone's entries. Hope you're all doing well and (most of you) enjoy your school holidays, or I'll cut you.

As I was seated and eating lunch in the city this evening, an old man approached me holding a Hungry Jack's bag and stated:  "I'm a junkie..."; pausing for a moment before finally adding: "... a fast-food junkie!" and then hurriedly walked off. I wanted to give him a dollar.

I'm roaming back and forth between the front and back of the shop, moving boxes of stock and such.

Co-worker: "Bend your knees when you pick things up!"

Attractive superior: "I'm going to give you some lessons in bending over."

It must be my dirty mind.

Why is it that whenever I'm alone, I want to be in a relationship...  then when I am in a relationship, all I want to do is be alone?

A few minor updates on my otherwise boring life:

I scored a job. I am now working at Mind Games (alongside my father), so I technically cheated a little, but there really were no other choices at this point in time. Getting a job right now is exceeding difficult or even downright impossible. I handed in over fifty applications over the course of two months and didn't receive anything beyond a no-response or “I'm sorry, we have no jobs right now. We'll totally keep your application on hand”.

It's not really awkward working around my dad or anything, since we're separated by a level and work in different areas. The only thing I've come to dislike about it is that I'm usually mismatched and placed in the board games section of which I have no knowledge whatsoever; if someone comes to me asking about a popular game such as Cluedo, I still have no idea on what to tell them. I can also safely say that the board games section is the shittiest section of the store to work in, being the busiest and lacking a stool. Baww.

Actually, I lied a minute ago. I did get a call back from Centrelink, from when I applied online for a temporary customer service contract role there (as they're understandably short staffed). Mid-way through the phone interview I came to my senses and realised that now is a worse time than ever to be working for the government, that I had no real intention to work at Centrelink, and grudgingly answered the questions in the most unattractive tone so as to sound like the shittiest candidate, which ended in resultant lolling throughout the conversation.  I was declined and failed, which some might consider to be a win in its own right.

I'm still doing nothing. Just existing, really, which becomes increasingly more agitating as the days pass. Still waiting for June or July to come around to see if I can get into any mid-year intakes. If not, there's always VTAC and next year.
Truth be told, I might have been wrong about Arts courses in one of my previous entries. I could still do an IT degree, but unless I'm any good, it's like the bottom of the barrel in terms of degrees, and 90% of India would willingly do the same job for a bag of rice.

That's when I'd become a dead shit – admittedly something which terrifies me. But, the world is full of dead shits, and the same could happen if I did Arts - like many people - but becoming a dead shit from IT is a more probable outcome. Again, the world is full of dead shits. Once you become a dead shit, there's nothing you can do; you can be offered anything, and you'll still go back to being a dead shit. Dead shits don't want to achieve anything. They just want to exist, root, shit out kids, and die. Basic human beings. But, everyone needs them, because they're the class that do the shit we don't want to ever have to do. They're too caught up in their own tiny little worlds to see the forest for the trees, and are happy in their ignorant little enclave of their day to day plebian lifestyles. They'll never have nice houses, nice cars, nice clothes. They'll never have the satisfaction of leaving a mark on the world, having anyone but their own kith and kin know they even existed after they die. They are the nobodies. You get them in all shapes and sizes, and from all backgrounds. It's a terrible assumption on others, not necessarily a bad thing, but it's something I'm truly afraid of becoming. I have no current inclination to become a dead shit, but I see it as a possibility both ways. IT is an option if I intend to develop some sort of life-sustaining career - and I'd most likely end up a dead shit. Arts is a gamble in itself, and I'm not sure if I'm willing to take it, but it's a route to becoming 'somebody'.  I realise I probably sound like the majority of idiots with an unwarranted sense of self-importance, but I assure you I'm as low and as self-deluded as most people, convinced into thinking while growing up that I have a shred of talent when I'm pretty much below or even with everyone else out there. Everyone can write - some are just better than others.  You can still win at life with no talent though, if you just look around you by the examples led by others.

Other paths are out of the question because of my realist outlook, and being overly exposed to the consequences of being stuck in a job you hate, doing things you hate doing or could not give less of a shit about. Conflictingly, I enjoy computers and technology in general, but I also enjoy the more artier side of things, which faces me with something short of a dilemma. There's nothing else and no in-betweens. Those are my two options that could grant me some enjoyment of the working life, but both of them put me at the risk of being a dead shit in different manners. 

Aside from my 'die-on-the-inside-upon-viewing' ranting vomit, there's nothing really else to document, so allow me to end this with a completely uninteresting spiel about my relationship:

I've almost reached the six-month mark with Smith. Everything feels so fast. We spend a lot of time together; the fact that it's a regular part of the relationship thrills me to no end. I really couldn't be any happier with my personal life - I guess this makes me a bit of a dead shit right now, but I don't care (right now). I adore him, and he cares about me more than I really deserve to be cared about. Some of the things that come out of his mouth are truly warming; others paralyze me with laughter. This happens on a daily basis, which I love. He is also a profoundly logic driven person, which is a bonus. He's got the entire emotional side, but he also looks at things from a logical perspective. So he's very feminine in all the ways that matter, but the drama is gradually being kept to a minimum because he understands the logical foundation for irrational emotions and he can deal with them accordingly (a lot better than me most of the time).

Being with him has truly, deeply, and permanently made me a better person, I'd like to think. He demands exactly what I he and I both know I can do. He makes me selfless, and takes such good care of my needs that I have plenty of time and energy to do things for him and for other people. Ending an entry on a positive note - well this hasn't happened quite some time.  I just wanted to say this so I have something to look back on one day if I need to remember a time when I was happy.